Today is so beautiful out!  I just got back from a quick bike ride and I have a wonderful sweatstache.  I wish my “community” was bigger, it gets boring taking the same roads over and over again.  It’s tough when you live in the middle of nowhere and either have to bike on the highway or limit it to the few streets in your neighbourhood.  To put it in perspective: I can cover all the streets in my area TWICE in 20 minutes.  I’m going to look up some trails that I can drive to because this just doesn’t cut it!  Although, the idea of driving somewhere to bike ride seems kind of silly to me.

I also did the 30 minute shred upon waking up.  I find Level 2 more difficult than level 3, strangely enough.  It also gets my heart rate higher than level 3 and I can definitely feel it in my legs more. 

I’m planning on going to the gym later on when my ma gets home to get rid of all this pent up energy.

~14 lbs to go!

Plans for tomorrow: 30 day shred, stairmaster with psych flashcards, possible bike ride

Meal Plan:

B: Oats w/ half banana, scoop pb

L: Salad with spicy thai dressing, soup

S: Cottage cheese with berries

D: TBA, pantries are a tumbleweed zone

S: Light hot chocolate, possibly yogurt and apple

I’m going to go and see 17 Again tomorrow.. shh.  I am overdue for a mindless movie.

I am resurrecting this blog.  It’s been almost a year since I last posted and my eating struggles haven’t diminished like I hope they would.  I have never been so unhappy with my weight.  The binges have gotten progessively worse and I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist of some sorts and hopefully with the help of someone else I can stop this emotional eating.

Hopefully this blog will help me out now more than last time.  I feel like I can’t live my life until I lose this weight.  I feel too fat to live, I just want to fall asleep and wake up thin.

Here begins the weight loss journey once again..

Exercise wise I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical and then ran for 3 miles in attempts to burn off the copious amounts of food I ingested today.  Trusty HRM said I burned about 750 calories.  It’s a start.

I resisted over-eating this morning and then ran 4 miles! I feel awesome. I did a workout that was posted by Tina @ Carrots ‘n’ Cake and boy am I going to feel it tomorrow. Lots of incline.

After taking a break from counting calories and maintaining for a couple months I thought I’d be done with it for good. Since this binging has happened it seems like I’m going to have to give it another go, until I can get this thoroughly under control again.

I have today off and I don’t really have any big plans, maybe going to get books for college later. That’s so weird to say.

Hope you’re having a fantastic day and enjoying the sunshine!

Did anyone else have troubles with Jenna’s Sweet and Sour Cabbage? Mine was really liquidy and no matter how long I cooked it I couldn’t get all the liquid to absorb.. causing the cabbage to taste bland because all the flavor was in the liquid! Sigh. Any tips? The Sweet and Spicy Barbecue Beans were a hit though, and even my dad liked them (tough critic!).

It really confuses me that now that I’ve gained 15 pounds (from binging, might I add) is when I start getting all the comments on how skinny I am. What the fizzle, I don’t get it. My aunt is visiting right now and the comments won’t stop. “Those are the smallest pants I have ever seen!”, “Why don’t I give you some of my fat?” (What am I supposed to say to something like that? I went with “You’re so silly”..haha) At work someone complained about being cold (Not me, my coldness has gone away with my recent addition of body fat) and then someone said “It’s because you’re so skinny, look at you!”.. first of all, I WASN’T THE ONE COMPLAINING, second of all, the person who said this is a 15 year old boy with the metabolism of a.. 15 year old boy. So he is about half my size. Sigh. Anyways, enough of that.

Days without binging = 1/2 a day, I really think I’m done for good this time.

Ah, I’ve been so busy working lately that I haven’t had any time to post! Not that I’d want to post the food I’ve been eating because I’ve been binging like crazy again. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything. I’m eating enough calories and have been for months now so my body shouldn’t be craving all this extra food. I’m at a healthy weight again and I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to stop binging and will gain too much weight. Just this morning I’ve already had a massive bowl of oatmeal, a granola bar and 4 muffins slathered in almond butter. This needs to stop. I just have to tell myself that I am in control of what I’m eating.. the only person who can stop this is me. Blah.

Ahh, it was so nice out today. I didn’t have to work or do anything and just lounged about the pool reading a Bob Dylan biography.

(x the bread by 3 and add another serving of ice cream, and some strawberries..woops)

I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast from a recipe that I bastardized fromr vegweb, it didn’t work as well as I hoped but they were still pretty good.

For lunch I finished the can of soup I opened yesterday and had some carrots with hummus (obsessed!). I also had an apple and a piece of bread with jam. This bread is made in the city by a little deli and it is sooo good and quite healthy.

For dinner I made some falafel from another vegweb recipe “Lazy College Kid’s Easy Falafel”, well I’m not in college yet but I did feel lazy. They were okay. I put them in a tortilla (I had no pitas!) with some hummus, cucumbers, carrots and lettuce. I tried the foil method (Why didn’t I think of this before? They do it at a whole bunch of wrap places, but I never thought to try it until Kath did it.) It works wonders. It was really filling so I didn’t have dessert.. until later. You should probably stop reading now.

I munched on some strawberries and then around 9:00 when I got back from a friend’s house the snacking began. Atleast I now know that my binging is partially emotional because something not so awesome happened at my friends house so I felt like crap and turned to food. No! Now that I’ve recognized it maybe I’ll be able to stop. I had about 2 servings of Cookies ‘n’ Creme So Delicious ice cream, two (big) pieces of whole grain bread with jam and almond butter, 1 bowl of cheerios and 1 bowl of shreddies. The whole time I was doing it I was saying to myself “Stop. You’re going to regret this” but it just didn’t work. I went for a 45 minute walk after to try to burn some of it off (ha, maybe 1/2 a serving of ice cream..). No more binges!

..Oh, I also had about a serving of . My mum and I stocked up because we loved it so much and now we have 3 containers left that expire on the 30th! I brought one carton over to my friend’s house. Some people bring emotional support to a friendship, I bring flavored soy milk.

Today I had to wake up early-ish (7:00) to go to an  assembly at the school.  I now am officially done high school.  Weird.  I got an award for top Yearbook 12 student and a pin (how generous..) for showing citizenship, hahah.

Now on to the foodstuff!  I was in a rush so I didn’t take a picture of my breakfast (which was same old, same old, anyways.. ezekiel english muffin with marmalade, almond butter and a side of mixed berries)

I got home and had a snack of a La Tortilla Factory tortilla and some hummus.  Then I had a 3 hour nap.  I’m going to have fun falling asleep tonight!  For lunch (at around 3:00..) I was feeling lazy so I had some Campbell’s Vegetable Fiesta soup (holy sodium, batman!) and some snap peas from our garden.  I also attempted to make some hot chocolate since we’re out of mix with unsweetened vanilla almond milk, a teaspoon of cocoa powder and some stevia.. it was.. lacking in oomph.  For dinner I had a tofu scramble with onions and spinach, some salad and some rice pilaf my dad made.

I’m hoping my mum will come home in time for me to take the car to the gym, if not I’ll just workout my arms at home and go for a run.

I just found out I have to work from 3:30-12:00 on Canada day.  Bullocks!  This blows.

One more thing..

Enough said.

:):)

A pretty small piece of home made herb bread, a banana with a bit of AB and marmalade (why I thought banana and marmalade would taste good together, I’m not sure) and 1/2 cup of multigrain life with about 1/4 cup of special k.

..and also the rest of the mango.  Best mango I’ve ever had, not bad seeing as it has probably been on a truck/airplane/storage crate for a month.

I’m going to try to eat more during the day so my night time snacking lessens a bit.  I don’t feel bad about eating all of this because I was truly hungry. 

Tomorrow I have to work from 3:30-7:30, and I’m so happy it’s not an 8 hour shift.  Next week I have three 8 hour shifts in a row, and their closing too (12:00!) so that’s not fun at all.  Tell me, who is going to want to go grocery shopping at Safeway at 12:00 at night?